Right Brain Thoughts
1. I keep thinking every Mumford & Sons song is that other Mumford & Sons song.
2. If you take relationship advice from the Taco Bells hot sauce packets... you have officially hit rock bottom.
3. Dallas Cowboys Suck!
4. I love Olympia. It's like a small version of Portland, but with a little more corduroy and people with pet crows
5. Unhealthy teams are a product of unhealthy leaders.
6. The first 35 years of parenthood seem to be the hardest.
7. Why do my kids say “beans beans the magical fruit” beans are vegetables!
8. You know those things that are better left unsaid? Yeah. Sometimes I say those things.
9. People who blare "Screamo Music" in there Chevy Volt Electric car, need to be stuck in a musical time-out for a month with Kenny G.
10. Is there ever a day that mattresses aren’t on sale?
11. The only reason all of humanity learns the alphabet is because of the song. Thats why I sucked at multiplication tables... there's no song.
12. When I say, "Maybe" to my kids. What they hear is this: "I swear on my life that this will definitely happen."
13. Hope for humanity? I lost mine the day I saw a grown man pick his nose and eat it.
14. We embrace mediocrity because it requires no courage.
15. I have 3 hair styles: Hat-head, Bed-head, and Homeless.
16. I am total proof, that there is a great woman behind every idiot.
17. In an effort to create more enticing & relevant gatherings, lots of churches are looking more & more like a hipster high school cafeteria.
18. Pretty sure if people could read my mind at my kids baseball games I'd get punched in the face.
19. I'm considered something of a fashionista in the Flannel Shirt community.
20. My thoughts this morning waking up: Can't wait to go back to sleep tonight. Sure wish Starbucks delivered. Why do my pajamas have pockets? Why am I wearing pajamas? Where am I?